They come into my life and then, too
early, they are gone. And I mourn and
grieve, cry and moan. I am angry at my
loss, my pain, the void in my life as their sudden absence is a bleeding,
infected wound that never quite seems to heal.
Grief dances its macabre and
bittersweet retinue of every emotion, taking fiendish joy in ambushing me when
I least expect it, when I am least able to cope with the pain.
Yet, deep down, I still carry their
light and their love, and sense their their soul, still resounding with me,
still an integral part of my life.
Why? What was so special about that
person that I am so profoundly affected by their passing? What was it about
them that reached me, touched my heart, and brought them so close to me, such
an essential part of my life, my own story?
What is the lesson to be learned?
I just read that plants emit light
frequencies in a part of the light spectrum that is invisible to our eyes, yet
photography is now able to record those images, those vibrations, and reveal
another dimension of the profound beauty and intricacies of these living
beings.
Is it that much of a stretch in
thinking that people also emit vibrations and frequencies of light that is
invisible to our eyes, yet sensed in a much deeper level by us, on a different,
yet intuitive, level.
“You are special. You bring something into my life that is
beautiful, meaningful for me.”
Attraction.
The law of attraction teaches us
that we attract to ourselves the emotions, the feelings, the vibrations that we
need. And when we open ourselves to
those feelings, the presence of what we crave, then we become more complete,
and more able to live the life that we deeply desire. We come closer to fulfilling our true purpose
in this life.
And when a special person leaves us,
there is a void, an emptiness, a loss.
Yet there is also the knowing, deep down, of what they have brought to
us in our all too brief time together.
That memory serves us well, teaching us what we had needed and desired,
to be a better, more complete person.
In that loss, that death, there are
lessons to be learned, lessons on what we have needed and taken in, and grown
from. When the class is over, only then
do we fully appreciate the lessons learned, the experience gained, the real
benefit of being present for the lesson, the experience.
At the end of a particular journey,
the end of that special time when a special friend has come into my life and
walked with me, only then do I first realize what I have experienced, what we had
set out to learn, and how I needed to grow.
I look back, and only then see from where I have come, how far I have
traveled, and the name of the road I am on.
These dear ones who have passed on, the
ones whose light I have needed along my own journey, have taught me great
lessons, and deeply impacted my life. I
find that when they are gone, only then do I start to fully realize the gifts
they have given me, the lessons they have taught me, and the special places
they have held in my life. Only then do
I fully appreciate them, and find some sense of completeness and understanding
of their presence in my life.
Somehow, their teaching to me is not
complete until they are gone. Only then do I learn all the lessons they have
been teaching me.
Only then is the full spectrum of
the light they have shared revealed to me.
Only then can grief lead me to the
understanding I have been led to eventually discover.
--Neal Lemery
6/16/2017
